Epsom and Ewell’s crime profile in March 2023 reveals a unique balance of crime types that contrasts with UK-wide trends. Violence and sexual offences accounted for nearly a third of all reported crimes, the highest share of any category, yet this rate of 1.3 per 1,000 is 53% below the UK average. This discrepancy may reflect the area’s demographic composition and local policing efforts, which appear to mitigate violent crime despite the high proportion of incidents. Vehicle crime, at 0.7 per 1,000, is 46% above the UK average, a likely consequence of the area’s commuter nature, with dense road networks and frequent traffic movement creating opportunities for theft or damage. Anti-social behaviour, at 0.7 per 1,000, is 33% below the UK average, suggesting that community-focused interventions or environmental design in public spaces may contribute to lower levels of disruptive conduct. The seasonal transition to spring, with longer evenings and the clocks changing, may have influenced patterns of anti-social behaviour and public order offences, which together accounted for 24.9% of crimes. However, the low rates of shoplifting (80% below UK average) and bicycle theft (100% below UK average) indicate that targeted prevention measures in retail and cycling infrastructure could be effective. This mix of crime types illustrates an area with generally lower overall crime rates but specific vulnerabilities tied to transportation and public space dynamics.